Mother loves the musical form of theme and variations. The great composers wrote sets of theme and variation compositions – from Mozart’s Variations on “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” to one of Mother’s all time favorites, Mendelssohn’s Variations Serieuses. Here’s one of the greatest pianists of the 20th Century, Jorge Bolet, playing this awe-inspiring composition:
Mother has completely gone off course. This is not a post about the greatness of Jorge Bolet or musical theme and variations. And don’t seem so surprised that Mother enjoys “Long-haired” music over a hootinanny. Come any closer and she’ll shoot you with her musket from her porch. All right then, back to a**holes.
This is a post about how a great musical form can figuratively morph into human acts of stupidity. Again and again. Same theme (stupidity) but variations on it. Case in point: Mother was walking her two senior dogs around the block. Mother has already posted that while doing so-with great difficulty, she encountered an a**hole. Well, nothing’s changed. In addition to one of her senior dogs being somewhat disabled, Mother isn’t walking so well herself. As Mother was rounding the corner of a block with her dogs, a stupid, ugly, dumbass dufus with wireframed glasses circa 1972, long shorts (definitely from here) and way too much body hair, said loudly, “wow, he’s a real limper! Is he OK? Is he just old?” Mother did everything she could to not whip our her Derringer from her pocketbook and shoot the dumb fuck. The stupid jackass kept looking at Mother, with his dentally challenged smirk, waiting for some sort of response, totally ignoring the fact that Mother had her hands full and could give a shit about responding to such an idiot. Mother finally blurted out a common sense phrase: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Well, stupid schmuck in the big shorts could not comprehend such a concept and proceeded to mouth off. Mother paid him no mind, and got herself and her dogs home.
What’s the point here? Mother urges everyone to stick to musical themes and variations, where the concepts of art, beauty and expertise are employed. The only thing accomplished by Variations on a Theme of A**hole is One Angry Mother.
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